"The Filibuster"

Let me tell you about my 5 to 7 yard draw off the tee.

Actually, before I do that, let me explain the difference between red stakes and white stakes. Red stakes mean lateral hazard. White stakes mean out of bounds. Totally different penalties. This matters. Trust me. Also, I need you to understand why I play Pro V1X's instead of Pro V1's because the spin rate difference on a 5 to 7 foot putt is significant and I don't think people appreciate that enough. Oh, and have you seen what the Keiser brothers created with The Lido? An absolute masterpiece. I could talk about that course for hours. Actually I will. But first, let me tell you about the HZRDUS Blue RDX Smoke shaft in my driver. It's a game changer. You see, the torque profile combined with the mid launch characteristics creates this trajectory that...

You're already gone, aren't you.

Your eyes just glazed over like I'm reading you the terms and conditions on a software update. I get it. I do the same thing with recovery.

When someone asks me "How's that sober thing working out for you?" something inside me wants to launch into a filibuster. I want to explain the neurobiological complexities of the addicted brain. I want to tell them how Step 4 and Step 8 have been the most difficult work I've ever done. I want to break down what the 12 by 12 is, why the 7th Tradition isn't actually required, and how the promises on page 83 and 84 have slowly started showing up in my life in ways I didn't think were possible.

And the person who asked is now eyeing the exit faster than the checkout line at Costco.

Here's what I'm learning though. Most people who ask about my recovery mean well. Some don't, but that's ok. The majority of people genuinely want to know. They just don't know the depth of it. And why would they? I didn't either before I lived it.

They don't need the filibuster. They don't need every detail of the hard work I'm putting in day in and day out, what I've learned, or the depth of the beautiful community AA truly is. What they need is the best snapshot I can give them. Something honest, something real, something that leaves them wanting to ask a follow up question another time. Maybe at dinner. Maybe on a walk. Maybe between swings on the golf course.

And here's the grace part. They deserve the same grace I've been given. People don't need to understand the full depth of my recovery to care about me. They just need to know the door is open. If they ask a follow up question, whether in the moment or weeks later, I know they care. That's enough.

So if you ask me how the sober thing is going, I'll keep it simple. It's going really well. It's the hardest and best thing I've ever done. And if you want to know more, I've got time.

But if you ask me about my driver shaft, clear your schedule.

Not perfect, but good.

One Story. One Swing. One Gathering at a Time.